dear clara (seven months)

The people out there- they're RIGHT! This whole parenthood thing does keep getting to be more and more fun. This last month with you has been a hoot. You are so incredibly aware of the world around you now, and are starting to form your own opinions about what is pleasurable and what is not.

So far the list goes like this...

PLEASURABLE
Rocket (He's like a living, breathing, bouncing, spazzing, unpredictable squeaky toy)
Water (You've recently discovered the joys of vigorous splashing. Bathtime, in the pool, it doesn't matter. You must be part fish.)


Food (So far, you're a fan of asparagus, carrots, avocado, oatmeal, banana, yogurt, tofu, applesauce, broccoli, sweet potatoes, cheerios, and yams. Next on the list, papaya and peas.)
Books (You'll actually chill out and listen half of the time. The other half you're too busy trying to eat the book to follow any plotline.)


UNPLEASURABLE
The absence of any of the above pleasurable things
Scooting backwards
Being forced to suffer the indignity of being strapped into your new gigantic car seat

Right now you can scoot yourself in circles and backwards, much to your dismay because you don't understand why you are moving farther away from the object of your desire. (And if it's a cat, you're doubly confused because said cat is also typically moving in the opposite direction from where you want it to go.) I have the feeling that my 8-month letter to you is going to be filled with exasperated pleas to stop moving around so quickly, and filled with longing for the days of immobility and being able to plonk you down wherever. But I think I'll be okay with that. Crawling is just around the corner for you, and I'm actually pretty excited (nervous? but excited) for this next phase of babyhood.

Thanks to you, I have rediscovered the joy of just hanging out, or going someplace interesting and just wandering around for the sake of exploring, without feeling guilty that there's something else I should be doing. On my days off work, we go to the park and swing, watch the big kids play, pick grass, and other tantalizingly simple activities.



Last week on the spur of the moment we went and wandered around downtown, with the Disney Concert Hall gardens and Olvera Street making up for a disappointing visit to MOCA and an overpriced sandwich.


I bought an adorable Mexican blouse for you at Olvera Street, but your huge noggin doesn't fit through the head hole. It's hard to have so many brains sometimes... good thing I know a talented seamstress so you can be smart AND look pretty in your new blouse at the same time.

And have I told you lately that I love you?


I think I must do it a gazillion times a day, but if I don't keep letting those words escape, I think my heart might just explode because of all the Clara love that keeps bubbling up in there. I am really shocked sometimes at the intensity of emotion that you bring out in your daddy and me. It's really true that people can try and explain what it feels like to be a parent until they're blue in the face, but until you experience it for yourself, it's just words.

I feel another one trying to get out, so I'll use it to sign off.

I love you,
Mama